Once upon a time, there was one little country boy, walking on an urban sidewalk. And he allowed himself to see God in faces of passing strangers. It was an existential moment of questions and answers; a lyrical moment of wonderful belief, faith, and love; an exemplary moment of inspiring and living Catholicism.
He had a personality shaped by sitcoms, detective shows, and imported international miniseries. There was an understated curiosity about him. He was always ready with a question and a smile. In his being was a growing love of his religion, growing respect of his faith. Learning about God and how to please God, pleased and challenged him.
There was an ordinariness about him, detached and graceful as he searches for goodness and his path. His eyes looked around him, at the glass storefronts, the neon signs, the rushing pedestrians. Then he tried to remember something he heard at Mass.
beautiful, service, faith, love, sharing, direction, forgiveness, help, dedication, charity, peace, kindness, empathy, honor, privilege, ceremony, tradition, Bible, St. Paul, homily, God's work, community, family, prayer, reflection, examination of conscience,
Sometimes I too have a feeling leading me in a certain direction; interpreting past events and assigning symbolic significance, religious archetypes to the realities from my life. Sometimes I too must acknowledge my faults, my sins, even the smallest elements, the random thoughts, brash and wild. Sometimes I too realize the material world may be beautiful and yet there is an element of the intangible which creates obsession, greed, lust.
In quiet moments there is a very tangible sensation, the material that both hope and love are made of, that leads my brain through all the formative influences. There are examples supreme and sublime. There is a search for a lucid freshness and purity. There is an innocent insistence which challenges my being, my inactivity.
Here and there, I have made small discoveries about myself and there is a desire for a relationship with God which contains greater fidelity. Each new discovery could be complemented by an anecdote or a fragment. Nothing is isolated.
I have been on a journey for a long time, following the traces, the ancient footsteps everywhere. I have observed life and something beyond life, something beyond words. Now, my heart and soul yearn for God's grace, God's love, and to do God's work.
It is never too late to yearn.
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