Direction

My young life was greatly influenced by reading books. My parents encouraged me to read everything. I had the Bible. I had Charlotte’s Web and Stuart Little. My first love is the written word. I have always enjoyed reading books. I have always enjoyed writing. My imagination enjoys the struggle of opposites, the struggle of familiarity, the struggle of hope. I like to compare these struggles to the long ago endless summer days of my adolescence when I had a simple predilection toward goodness, movement toward God encouraged by the love and hope of others.

My early life my spiritual direction came from the adults in my life either making me go to church, making me say prayers before meals, reminding me to say my prayers before bedtime, teaching me the Lord’s Prayer.

Spiritual direction is relative, quiet, gentle, patient. It explores the relationships between my heart, my mind, my soul and God. It is not like going to the neighborhood delicatessen and asking for tomato, spicy mustard, provolone and a bag of chips. Spiritual direction is more subtle, more sublime. I might not ask for anything at all. I might not be thinking about anything but my eyes might see something or my ears hear something which will trigger a thought, a prayer, a brief reflection.

I am sometimes in such a hurry that I forget my name, address, telephone number. My mind concentrates on only one project, one goal. I momentarily forget everything else. There are times when I like being like that, like the feeling of finishing a project, accomplishing a goal, exceeding someone’s expectations. But, often after the moment passes, I wonder what did I miss, what did I give up to achieve this goal.

As an adult even as I make all types of mistakes and errors of fashionable modern judgement, there is always a search and yearning for goodness. I want to be humble, obedient, loving, compassionate. I want my life to be of service to God.

It is during the unexpected moments of life when I briefly quiet my thoughts, my insanity, my goofiness that my natural concern and prayers return; love universal sneaks up on me and sometimes I have so much emotion that I simply cry. It is these moments which are now the framework of my spiritual direction. It is during those moments that I feel closest to God.

Moving toward God requires discipline, sacrifice, prayer. Moving toward God requires action, contemplation. Moving toward God requires silence. I have to stop talking.

Faith is a beautiful phenomenon which can help me become closer to God. I must allow my hunger for goodness to grow, my thirst for God’s love and mercy to flourish.

A wise man once said, “Hope is persistent and God’s love is eternal.”