Thursday Afternoon

Thursday afternoon. I am thinking about creativity and divinity. At this moment I do not believe that I am a creative person. I am a photographer but I just capture what I see. I am not a painter, I am not a sculptor. My spelling has vanished because of reduced usage. As a photographer I am reliable because I treat everyone as if they each were equally important.

My life as a Catholic asks me to be humble, obedient, forgiving, loving. How easy it is to be all of those things in theory! The one charm of our individual lives is that it is an individual life. Some people never learn the proper time for a martini or the proper time for prayer. Every Christian is a rebel, a radical, and engaged in guerilla warfare against himself/herself. Each one of us understands sin and how to rationalize and justify our sins. This is one of the great talents of our society, rationalizing this and that. One can talk religion for a lifetime without ever being religious. One can talk about Jesus Christ without ever know how to communicate with him.

Solutions and dilemmas and questions surround us, confuse us.

Temporal things gain great importance; we sometimes forget that nothing is greater, more important than God. But, the loudest noise, brightest light captures our attention, diverts our attention away from God.

Vulgarity and stupidity are two of the most valued distractions of modern life. With common sense one tries to avoid them naturally. But they are intrepid, repetitious.

I have learned only one thing in my life; I do not pray enough. I keep trying to amend this fact.

My faith deepens each time I attend Mass. I allow myself to be open to the readings, to the Gospel, to the prayers. I admit that sometimes I have been distracted during Mass worried about this or that. I am becoming better now. I am learning how to discipline my mind, to focus on one thing.

Everyone talks about the instinct. Everyone tries to conceal the obvious. Everyone has insecurities. Consumerism magnifies our fears in an attempt to manipulate individuals into buying or doing something. Our society wants a response. Our society teases us with pills to extend our lifespan, anti-aging lotions and tonics. The reality of our death remains with us. In fact we are destined to die from the moment we are born. Our society tries to make us forget this, encourages us to desire a long life.

We do not own our bodies. We do not own our minds. We exist at the mercy of God because God wants us to praise and glorify him. Our society tells us that we own this and that. God allows us to use these bodies. Jesus Christ instructs us to love each other.

We must slow down our lives, find ways to add obedience, humility, and charity to our daily routines. We must slow down our lives and find new ways to listen to God.

Technology creates a wonderful cacophony which keeps us numb, keeps us distracted. We do not have to think, to feel or do anything. Our computers and cell phones can do everything for us, everything except pray for us.

People are constantly trying to get our attention, to share anecdotes, to give admonitions, to ask for assistance. We are constantly making decisions to talk, not talk, contribute, not contribute. Christians constantly are reminded of Christ's sacrifice and suffering, constantly wonder if their lives are compassionate, hopeful, if they are sharing their love in a manner pleasing to God. Christians want to please God, want to love everybody, believe in fairness and social justice.

Goodness is sometimes elusive but we must keep searching for it, trying to discover it.