A Change of Pace

As a joke a friend asked me what I liked about Lent. At first I gave very serious answers which went above his very intellectual secular mind. Then, I revised it.

1. I like fasting. How wonderful it is to go to a dinner party and be able to refuse having a second helping. Especially when you do not want the second helping.
2. I like penance. How wonderful it is walking into a confessional and telling a complete stranger all those things that your Mother told you never to talk about.
3. I like abstinence. I like how the word sounds. Visually it reminds me of an aircraft carrier. I like how it looks too. Beef, pork, chicken, buffalo, venison, turkey, pheasant, how the list seems to grow. It does take thought and effort to avoid them. How much of our diet is based upon consuming beef and chicken and pork! Those poor animals! Yes, abstinence is good. One day without meat isn’t so bad. I can have iceberg lettuce instead. Now, iceberg lettuce is a real sacrifice.
4. I like examining my conscience. I somehow went through life more concerned with being conscious than expanding my conscience. Homonyms are always a recipe for disaster. “My conscious has no conscience.” “My conscience is too conscious.” “My conscious mind refuses to tolerate my conscience.” “Between my conscience desires and my conscious reality is a gulf of quips, wisecracks, and puns.” “So how do you spell conscience?”
5. I like thinking about being good. Especially when someone annoys me and I wish that I had some magical power to deflate their tires or to turn them into a camel or a mule.
6. I like remembering people to include in my prayers. There are always the usual collection of relatives and friends. But, then one day you turn on the television and hear a story about a soapbox derby and remember someone from my childhood who won the soapbox derby of your youth and you wonder what happened to this person are they still racing in the soapbox derby circuit, are they still racing, are they still alive and using soap, and you add them to your prayers for that day.
7. I like almsgiving but the word reminds me of almonds. I am not sure if I really like almonds. I wouldn’t buy almonds by themselves. I wouldn’t add almonds to a salad unless it was made with iceberg lettuce and served at a soapbox derby.
8. I like thinking about going to Mass. Then, my mind creates a list of such wonderful diversions and distractions like experimenting with fonts to create artwork while typing, uses for iceberg lettuce, how to obtain super powers, how to encourage dinner party invitations from single serving hostesses, sponsoring a soapbox derby.

For Lent to be successful for us, we need to encourage and to allow ourselves to enjoy the journey, to the things that we are learning about ourselves and our relationship with God. Lent is a journey of enlightenment and purification. Do not be afraid of being alone in the desert.

Remember iceberg lettuce and a soapbox derby.

And then simply pray.