The Photographer's Prayers

The thoughts that follow are those of a writer photographer who views life as a soldier at the front observing and preserving different details from each day; discovering the significence of each day, each moment as he tries to live a life filled with love and mercy like Christ’s. There are moments when I have felt like a soldier lost during a major battle, between two opposing sides slowly approaching my location; a decision must be made. Are we to speak of Jesus Christ’s teachings in the present tense or in the past? We know of his birth, his ministry, his death: since each of us have attended Mass we have heard about the star, the shepherds, the manger, swaddling clothes, his baptism in the Jordan, his temptation, the parables, his curing the sick, his miracles, his prayers, his persecution, the crown of thorns, the cross, his death, his resurrection. And each day I strive for goodness, hope for a little more wisdom and holiness than I had the previous day; remembering that all floors can be mud-stained because of outside forces, I remember charity, humility, and obedience. I endeavor to live obedience, humility, charity each day but there are moments when I fail, when I am selfish and completely self-centered, forgetting the beauty of mud-stained envelopes protecting old photographs and handwritten letters. Humility reminds me that each life contains days and moments of tear-stained eyes, announcing the advance of love, mercy, and hope; being Christian implies working to protect and encourage goodness in yourself and others by creating a foundation of charity, humility, and obedience within each of our lives. We must understand that temptation and sin will not completely vanish from our lives, what a neighbor they do attempt to become with all types of glittering, seductive lights and scents; but we must remember the weight of the forty days, patience, silence and the necessity and beauty of daily prayer and reflection. Each day should be lived with humility and self examination as we learn how to allow more goodness to develop and be shared within our daily lives. For those who are humble, patient, and silent before the Lord if their hearts are clean and pure will learn wisdom and holiness naturally! But for me now, each day, is a moment to look for God’s goodness and mercy in the world around me, and to patiently look for hints of holiness in others!

Choices

Today reviewed some photographs taken inside the Cathedral. Handsome and inspiring with calm, peaceful, unobtrusive lighting.

In these troubled times making ethical and moral choices requires diligence and patience. We are still without complete protection from sin and sinful behavior, but we have the teachings of Jesus Christ as a template. We also have to remember the Ten Commandments and all of the parables, psalms, and lessons within the Bible which help to create our spiritual landscape, notwithstanding the creation of our social justice beliefs. Within our social justice beliefs reside the best of us, the ability to love, to show mercy, to forgive, and to be humble; the best impression of the human heart, mind, and soul begins here with thoughts which hopefully will transform into actions called moral. Great hope will be made upon our desire for fairness and goodness. We must always remember that our lives as Christians require fortitude, sacrifice, obedience, patience. We must remember fortitude.

vigilant

I must always remember that sin and sinfulness are always around and so I must always remember to be vigilant as I live my life to develop and display only those behaviors which are pleasing to God; my soul will work to create a vigorous development of obedience, humility and love within my entire being.

The silence after Mass is magnificent, and all breathes hope and love. We think of those who are praying and those in need of prayer, and this thought makes our own situation seem fragile. There is nothing more beautiful than watching faithful people kneel down and pray. In their faces is a reverence so beautiful that words can not adequately describe it.

Reasons

How wonderful yesterday was,—I went to Mass and listened to the Archbishop’s homily, full of hope, but both goodness and holiness are to be cherished, protected, and encouraged. We all are born with them but we must not allow our hearts, minds, and souls to become fatigued by either carnal or secular thoughts and desires which can cloud or confuse our judgement.

I am in a state of returning inspiration because of the desire to write and photograph. I feel the need to be of service to God, to help. I am happiest when I am in the Cathedral, silently praying to God. I like the moments when I am silent and my mind is directed toward God, and my destiny is his destiny, his desire for me. I want to make myself available to him without questions, without hesitation, without doubt.

I want to live a life that is completely obedient to God.

What I have is hope; there are always reasons to pray to God.

A New Walk in A New Year

Today a walk along Connecticut Avenue. Rigorous weather after a the snow. A pleasant interlude in these troubled times. I am still learning about prayer, trying to follow in the footsteps of Jesus Christ, but I have happily a few close friends filled with love and patience. I have wanted to go outside with the camera and photograph the landscape, to see the beauty and serenity of God’s creation. These fine trees and clouds suggest the best in natural serenity, natural law of composition. Their are moral and ethical questions to consider, the impression of life in stillness leads me toward questions about how to be more good, more holy. I hope that in time I am able to develop my fortitude and patience.

The camaraderie of Church volunteer life energizes me, but I can't explain how. There is something to be learned each time I do anything for the Cathedral. Hope, Love, and Faith are rediscovered again and again, with prayer and devotion. Right now I truly want to learn how to be a better servant of God, a better servant filled with grace and obedience.

The good-fellowship of the Mass has been replaced by a finer solidarity and a praiseworthy community of believers sharing both the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist. One of the advantages of my situation is that I can, as it were, observe others in their states of goodness and holiness; how wonderful it is to see such fine inspiring behavior. All the readings and the prayers, which are important to hear and important to understand, provide both spiritual formation and inspiration. Attending Mass regularly can help us all improve both our goodness and holiness as we allow ourselves to become humble servants of the Lord. Then the great power of the Mass occurs when we allow ourselves to forget our earthly trials and tribulations and look for ways to serve God which sometimes creates a profound, feeling of brotherhood which turns all hearts towards humility, obedience, love and mercy.

Attending Mass provides me with an additional time when God is the true focal point in my mind. Each time that I walk into the Cathedral I do feel unworthy of being there; then I remember my reason for being there and I feel better. Each time I attend Mass I learn more about what God is asking me to do, how he wants me to live my life.

There must always be time for prayer. There must always be time for sacrifice. There must always be hope. There must always be love.

2010 Arrives

New Year’s Eve has departed,—These are my first hours of my life in movement, full of hope, full of faith but the impression of goodness and holiness I actually seek is very different from what I first imagined. 2010 has arrived.

I am in a state of great creative tension because of the unending march of answers and questions within my heart, mind, and soul. I lead the life of a calculus problem. I long to be a servant of God, to do what is needed without hesitation or question, I hope to live a life of complete obedience to God filled with effort and prayer, and destined eventually to please God as I proclaim his grace, goodness, and love through both my actions and words.

What I keep learning can be described simply as how to love and want nothing in return except to love more and to help more. It is the simplicity of silence and of prayer which moves me now.

And I am happy to be alive. And I am happy to be learning about the trinitarian, Christological, and ecclesiological foundations of the Church.

I am filled with hopes and prayers, and soon it will be time for Mass, the Archbishop will be the celebrant.

Now life is quiet, calm. The weather is cold yet magnificent, and all sounds peaceful and confident. I think of those who are sick or suffering or hungry or lost or without God in their hearts and I say a prayer, and I wish that there was something more immediate, more expedient that I could do to change the situation, make everyone feel better if only briefly. The spirit always searches for goodness, holiness.

Looking