December Snow Night

How we view ourselves and our spiritual lives are often different. We sometimes separate or categorize the various aspects of our lives. We accept the idea that modern life is complicated.

As Catholics we believe and profess different prayers and creeds. Our lives as Catholics should extend beyond the walls of our churches.

If our daily lives were built around prayer and the Beatitudes, would we still describe them as complicated. Just what makes our lives so complicated? Is it the number of choices we have, or how we make our decisions, or how we avoid making some of our decisions?

Our daily lives have a built in rhythm. We decide what we are going to do each day. We decide when we are going to pray, when we are going to Mass, when we are going to read the Bible.

Our daily lives are also filled with all types of questions and competing interests providing all types of thoughts, all types motivations, all types of moments of and reasons for indecision.

How we feel about ourselves and our relationship with God provides us with confidence and hope.

When our faith is strong we can do anything, even ride a bicycle during a snow storm.

Inspiration

This will not be a description of how or when I became a Christian; it will be sufficient to say that I accept and understand that I was born with original sin, but that I came to convert a good while ago now. The several prayers and hymns in which, in my time, I have said and heard during my lifetime did not always please me but did inspire me, for one reason or another; our lives need purpose, direction, and hope; but when, on a summer evening about seven o’clock, I first tried to read Seven Storey Mountain, with its spiritual call and response, this autobiography has been compared to St. Augustine’s conversion, encouraging an education in the Christ’s mercy, the story of the restless and vagabond travels, observing or living; the great power of the ruined life rising high into the melancholy sky, with a whole platoon of memories--blurry figures, soft voices--skimming about with questions and revelations and facts and figures and fissures;--when I first tried reading this book, I felt instinctively that my burdens might be removed from my shoulders, that my tired fingers might write no more, that at last, within my imagination, I had found inspiration in a book to read. Initially I tried to read the book, this autobiography explains one person’s private journey; Christian spirituality needs to be nurtured and developed; this is the power of vocation, purpose of discernment, so far at least as spiritual growth is concerned, to encourage movement closer toward God in all areas of our lives. After reading a couple of chapters, I put the book down, convinced myself that I would pick it up later on, and several days, then weeks, then months passed. The book remained untouched and unread. There, with the former inspiration of the book, I tried to read this book again and again; I thought about reading the book several times and I even told several friends that I was about to read the book.

And so now as Advent begins, I am about to read the book again.

First Things Last

I think that it might be easier to start at the end. This is a written account of my private journey. I am asking myself questions about my faith, how I want to express my faith, and how I want to serve God. I am allowing myself a second to breathe, to glance around the room. I have lived an ordinary life. My exposure to religion began very early. I can remember going to Sunday school at a Baptist church. I can also remember trying to take a nap during Sunday service at a Baptist church.

Some of the sermons were great examples of oratory. Most were long, rambling things which mixed scripture with opinion. Some of the preachers worked to connect with their congregations. Others preached to their congregations about tithing and other financial connections.

As an adult weekly Mass attendance is an important component of my religious journey. I am trying to have a more humble, loving life. There all types of temptations and distractions all around me. Going to Mass is not a chore. I try to make it a reward for surviving another week. It is a moment of peace, free of the temptations of modern life and advertising. A moment free of detergent commercials; pop songs; anti-social and violent movies; oral contraception commercials; and celebrity gossip. It is a journey toward inner peace, inner knowledge, inner acceptance.

Weekly Mass offers a little bit of religious education, a reminder of God's love, and prayers, lots of beautiful prayers. Within the prayers, in the words, there is peace, love, and understanding. There is always a plea for the universal good, for universal humanity.

Participating in the Mass means that I am actively listening to the words that are being read or sung. Participating in the Mass means that I am praying for both familiar people and strangers. Participating in the Mass means trying to incorporate the teachings into more areas of my life.

I am looking for the best way to serve God, to follow in the footsteps of Jesus.

I recognize my shortcomings, my frustrations. I search for new questions, new ways to serve and honor the Lord.