Search Within The Silence

Outside there are raindrops again. It is Friday. Sitting here in silence and hope, voices talking, voice laughing can be heard. Horns from automobiles can be heard; the hiss of quick moving tires also disturbs this silence.

As Christians we are encouraged to create and protect a “willing expansion of belief” in ourselves and our world. We live with the premise of communicating with God. We praise God. We offer thanks to God. We petition God. We are confident that he will show us mercy. We learn patience as we wait for his response. We do not expect his correspondence to be instantaneous like a text message. We can not rush God.

Sometimes our honesty, our enthusiasm in our prayers or good deeds creates a kinetic energy, an intensity which can inspire others and move us, unlocking emotions, diminishing fears, restoring hope. As Christians we are always looking for ways to become closer to God, always trying to move toward God. We talk of goodness, we talk of holiness. The true orientation of a man is often not found in his oration but within his silence, within something imperceptible to the naked eye. Our true orientation toward God is hidden somewhere between or hearts and our souls; it is at once powerful and vulnerable; it sees and feels both good and evil.

How wonderful it would be if we all would take time, become a didacticist for a day, focusing all of our energy on sharing what we have learned from the Bible, from the life, death, and resurrection of Christ!

We do not talk about God enough! We do not apply the teachings of Christ enough. We have too many distractions, soccer games, celebrity philandering, political corruption. How completely sad our world is! Everything has a price! Dying soldiers help sell auto insurance and detergent. Murdered children help sell frozen pizza and deodorant. Tearful families help sell birth control pills and diapers. This critique is not new. It is only mentioned because we must always remember God, always add God to both our thoughts and conversations. Christ is that unknown soldier, Christ is that murdered child. We must acknowledge our role in the violence which occurs in our society and within this world. As we grow in our faith, as our goodness blossoms within us, hopefully we will transform us, give us the courage to say enough killing, enough violence, enough war!

We do not talk about God enough! Why do we come to Church each week? What do we get out of it? Do we get anything out of it? Do we listen to the readings, to the homily? Do we really listen or are we thinking about work, the stock market, player statistics, happy hour drink specials?

Each Mass presents a lesson in love, a simple type of love without attachment, a love of purity and hope, a love which inspires love and goodness, a love filled with compassion and empathy, and a love of sacrifice and suffering.

This is not the love of your New York Times bestseller or your Hollywood blockbuster. This is a love created with charity, humility, and obedience; a love filled with hope, filled with praise for God; this love encourages each of us to willingly expand our belief in the goodness and hope with ourselves and our neighbors and the belief in our ability to share our goodness, our hope with our neighbors. We are not asked to tolerate our neighbors but to understand and love our neighbors. We are not asked to say yes to social justice but to protect it for everyone.

“God is found on the way of justice, conversion and truth.” Archbishop Oscar Romero

Reasons

How wonderful yesterday was,—I went to Mass and listened to the Archbishop’s homily, full of hope, but both goodness and holiness are to be cherished, protected, and encouraged. We all are born with them but we must not allow our hearts, minds, and souls to become fatigued by either carnal or secular thoughts and desires which can cloud or confuse our judgement.

I am in a state of returning inspiration because of the desire to write and photograph. I feel the need to be of service to God, to help. I am happiest when I am in the Cathedral, silently praying to God. I like the moments when I am silent and my mind is directed toward God, and my destiny is his destiny, his desire for me. I want to make myself available to him without questions, without hesitation, without doubt.

I want to live a life that is completely obedient to God.

What I have is hope; there are always reasons to pray to God.