Friday, July 30, 2010

My Conversion

I sometimes think of my conversion and wonder how I would ever explain it to another human being. Would I stress love or would I talk of my soul. My conversion is incomplete. The journey continues. The itinerary changes each day, the destination remains the same. There is great charm in my conversion, endlessly reminding me of the need to be good, to be devout, to love others and myself. My baptism was remarkable. Over a period of a few weeks I learned the grace, delicacy, and confidence of faith, of believing in the Mystery of God. There are endless books on the philosophy and metaphysics of religion. I heard many conversations on those subjects and others. But, the most important idea which I learned and which I retained is that I am not insignificant in the eyes of God. I am loved by God. I have to respect God every second of my life. I have to be humble before God. I have to be obedient to God’s will. My conversion is more expansive than history or philosophy, in many ways is a movement orchestrated and influenced by God. There is always a desire to be like Christ. There is always a desire to love, to show mercy to all, to experience a grand universal love filled with an infinite awareness of the details of goodness and holiness. It is the experience of this love which teaches me how to be Christian, which keeps my mind aware of my strengths and weaknesses. Loving and serving God is an acquired taste, an acquired desire to be loyal, obedient, reverent, and loving. The psychology of a life with Jesus Christ begins in the sphere of love and continues to sphere of social justice; a life with Christ revolves around ideas of simplicity, sacrifice, and fairness. Oh, true hope, true faith are delicacies waiting to guide each one of us. A life with Christ is filled with many subtleties of emotion and awareness; I learned to close my eyes and to feel the presence of Christ Jesus in my life. My conversion is often in direct conflict with my personal affectations, my personal preoccupations. My conversion is a renewal of my social and educational interests, directed outward, searching for ways to serve God. My imagination finds new ways to serve him, new desires for goodness and holiness within my life. My conversion is the search for a pure and clean ingenuity and sagacity, created with a foundation of compassion, obedience, and love. Serving God faithfully with my entire heart, soul, and mind is my goal. There is something very exquisite in the Liturgy of the Eucharist. How fine the prayers are, how they tug at my heart, encourage me to desire to live a priestly life of love, obedience, and sacrifice. Each word teases my ears, plunders my imagination, leads me closer and closer to God. There is a gentleness, something very soothing, very renewing in the Liturgy of the Eucharist. And there is a bold rush, a zephyr pushing me toward goodness, holiness, serenity, pushing anxiety and thoughts of the secular world aside.

There is great beauty in my conversion. It is hopeful and peaceful. There is admiration, tenderness, gratitude.

My character now feels like that of a child filled with wonder and possibility.

Oh, I am dreamy at times. I am learning to pray.





Thursday, July 29, 2010

Remembrance

A second chance to think of how to improve my life, to look for ways to create a regiment of goodness and holiness within my heart. Each time I attend Mass I have the joy of seeing the faithful pass in front of me. In their faces varied emotions are visible. In my heart prayers are offered for both familiar and unfamiliar faces. Prayers find my mind. Each time I attend Mass I find new reasons to pray, remember to pray for different people. There are valid reasons to guard my heart, mind, and soul from the secular world. Each day in private ways we are accompanied by charity, mercy, love. We should always be open to giving and receiving them. Our anxiety sometimes prevents the exchange. Sometimes we create a hundred excuses why we can’t be good, why we refuse to follow in the footsteps of Jesus. We often search for shortcuts, not wanting to walk a hundred yards. We are in such a hurry, that we forget to say hello, good-bye, or peace. Our secular world promotes uncertain feelings, uneasiness. The secular world cajoles and harasses and overwhelms the flesh, our fleeting momentary whims, ideas about happiness and comfort which can be achieved with a small fee. Our lives as Christians provide us with a second chance to meet Jesus, a second chance to be humble and obedient before God, a second chance to love as Christ Jesus taught us.

This is the gravest of hours; consumerism offers many wonderful things, but it often does not live up to its promises and often produces frightful results. Materialism will not die.

How beautiful the altar looks each day when the candles are lighted and there are bowed heads praying. Sometimes their are floral bouquets in front of the altar. Mass offers compassion and consolation to those faithful who are there together. Mass offers hope, love, mercy and remembrance.

Each time we attend Mass we are asked to remember and to respect one beautiful sacrifice above all sacrifices.

It is great that we have priests who live to rescue drowning souls. It is easy to overlook the reserve of heroism there is in being a priest. It is easy to overlook the fact that we all are called to live priestly lives.

In regard to our lives, I suggest that we all search for goodness and holiness within our lives and then share it. Sin will always be there to tempt each one of us but with practice and patience we can overcome and avoid sin.

As for our state of mind, my suggestion will perhaps remind you of the responsibility that active Christianity presents to each faithful follower. Our continuing conversion is our duty. Realize that it is shameful to avoid goodness and holiness. Prepare your entire being for sacrifice. Train your feet to lead you on a path of compassion, obedience, love. Learn how to keep your conscience clean and pure. Pray earnestly, pray often.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Mingling of Hope and Confidence

And so before the orange juice fills the glass or the coffee finds the cup, I wonder about serving God, with goodness, with holiness, with love. There are days when I am more willing and obedient.

Each day there are many unspoken arguments within our minds and souls. Each day as we go about our lives we experience moments of love, moments of despair. Each day our minds are bombarded with terrible conflicts from all around the world. We pray for our loved ones, we pray for ourselves. We hope to see each other again. God offers us a certainty, a beautiful mingling of hope and confidence when we are obedient to his will.

Being humble, obedient before God allows us to experience a gentle, soothing hope that leads us to being good, to being holy.

Before we learn to speak we must learn to listen not with our ears but with our entire being. Our Christian lives begin with hope. Before we act we must learn to observe not with our eyes but with our entire being. Our Christian lives offer mercy and compassion.

Each day we learn how to pray, from reciting simple prayers aloud to the beautiful unspoken prayers for friends, loved ones, and strangers which flash in our minds. Always allow time for prayer and reflection. Spiritual health is important. We must have a healthy, loving relationship with God. Allow time for prayer. Remember to praise God for all the wonderful and good things he has done for you.

Be prepared for the upheavals which may appear as you strive to be humble and obedient. Being faithful to God might cause conflict within your life. As Christians we must nurture and protect the courage and confidence to adapt ourselves to an existence of obedience, charity, mercy with a foundation of social justice taught by Christ Jesus. We must expand our definition of love, we must learn how to love universal and how to be love universal. Such love although beautiful and nourishing asks us to believe in Christ Jesus, to believe in God. Such love can create upheaval which can lead us to a closer relationship with God. Do not be afraid of upheaval. Do not be afraid of change. Trust in God, trust in your existence as God’s children.

Do not allow your mind to be swayed by personal happiness, convenience, or comfort. Remember life is not meant to be easy. Life is pain. Life is suffering. Let your conscience guide you toward goodness, holiness, righteousness. Live to satisfy God. Live to nurture and to share hope, love, and mercy.

What A Call

In the early morning before seven o’clock there is a minute of silence. The elevators are allowed to rest. Water does not rush through the old pipes. Here is a moment to review yesterday’s successes, failures, to remember yesterday’s hopes, prayers, and intentions. Here is a moment to plan today’s actions. Here is a moment to think about goodness, to think about holiness. The silence presents a moment for reflection. Modern life is busy filled with angst, anxiety, arrogance, ambition, filled with noise, rustling and bustling around each of us. Modern life is filled with all types of distractions and diversions encouraging us to follow. Silence is fleeting. Each moment of our lives, there is a need for silence, a need for us to evaluate ourselves and our activities, both visible and invisible. The spiritual life is very important and needs to be nourished. Prayer is very important. Each day we should present all our thoughts, all our activities to God. Each day instead of making time for God in between going to the gym and picking up the dry cleaning, we should give our either being to God, offer to do his work, offer to serve him. Silence allows our minds to rest, to focus on what is important.

There is a heavy truck beeping outside my window. There is a choice which has to be made. My mind remains quiet, calm filled with gentle praise, filled with examples of mercy, hope, and love that I have seen in others. There is a desire to share mercy, hope, love with others. The silence allows us a moment to remember “to you who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be holy” the responsibility of our baptism. Each moment of our lives should be governed by the gentle, loving call to be holy, call to holiness.

Each day we are allowed to renew our love and dedication to Christ Jesus. Each moment we are able to renew our commitment to be humble, to be obedient, to serve the Lord.

As Christians hopefully there is time for us to remember that we have all been called to serve God. The call is not limited to the clergy, to those in consecrated life, or to the priests. God wants us all to be good, to encourage others to be good and to believe in him.

As Christians we have a choice, to obey or not to obey; to love our neighbors as we love ourselves or not to love our neighbors. Goodness and holiness are not complicated.

Silence allows each individual a moment to look within their heart, to search for signs of love, mercy, charity, compassion.

And hopefully each soul will feel God’s gentle call.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

When I Opened My Eyes

And so as my eyes opened this morning, my mind drifted between thoughts of goodness, holiness, and vocation. The wonderful thing about being Catholic is the sense of continual discernment. Our minds should always be directed toward finding ways to serve the Lord, finding new ways to follow the footsteps of Christ, finding new ways to challenge ourselves to love each other.

We each have the opportunity to do good, to live righteous lives if we allow ourselves to make the right choices, to move on the correct paths. Goodness often contains many difficult choices. Goodness involves evaluating each action that we make and asking simple questions like “Would God approve this?” or “Would Christ do this?” or “What would Jesus do?” Goodness puts us on the hot seat; goodness asks us to be accountable for our actions and our thoughts.

Learning about how to apply or to add more goodness to our daily lives naturally leads us to thoughts of holiness. Being holy is being a living part of the mystery of God, striving to please God, striving to inspire and encourage others to believe in and follow the teachings of Jesus Christ. Holiness is the search for the divine, the search for the beautiful, the search for God. Holiness is not easy; it requires an active mind constantly on guard to protect our minds, our hearts, and our souls from the secular world.

Holiness is difficult to describe; harder to achieve. There is a vagueness in the definition. Christians have an idea of what holiness is. We accept God’s mystery. Each Sunday during Mass we listen to Holy Scripture. We are encouraged to read the Bible. We are encouraged to make time for prayer in our lives. We are encouraged to allow our minds to be silent, to listen to the will of God. We are encouraged to create and to maintain our own individual private relationship with God. Each step in our lives should be governed by Holiness, filled with an earnestness and love for God. Our goal should always be serving God, pleasing God.

As Catholics each day of our lives should include prayer and discernment. Each day we should evaluate our progress and ask ourselves what more can I do in service of the Lord. Our lives provide us with the opportunity, with the responsibility to discover our own individual vocation, our own individual way to serve God, our own individual way to share the Good News with others.

There is a simplicity and serenity in life when it is centered on God, when it is centered on the life, teachings, and sacrifice of Jesus Christ.